When a man retains his semen for a long time, he naturally becomes more patient. In this state, he can learn to thrive alone. If he can be alone, then there is no reason for him to have a partner - a lover, a wife, a girlfriend - unless she markedly improves the quality of his life by her presence. How can a man know if a woman not only improves the quality of his life generally, but also if she is a good fit for him personally?
All of us have heard stories of unhappy marriages, and very likely, all of us have witnessed them, live and in person. Perhaps you, my esteemed reader, have had the experience of living through an unhappy marriage, or a romantic entanglement of some kind which was unsuitable for the mutual flowering of love, joy, and peace. If you know what I am talking about, you know that to avoid such misfortune is a great blessing. A crisis averted is a crisis that need not characterize one’s life. It would be useful to have criteria to calibrate relationship happiness, for any given pairing.
As we have seen with respect to the character traits which make a woman fit for marriage, and capable of effectively loving a man, relationship compatibility too breaks down along the lines of nous, heart, and spirit. But before we go further with this inquiry, one thing must be said: if a man is not sufficiently patient, he cannot be trusted to make an objective assessment of a woman’s character, nor can he be trusted to make the subjective assessment of his compatibility with any woman in particular.
Semen retention is a state of perpetual delayed gratification. Semen retention is a way of living in which the most intense pleasure available to a man on the physical level is consciously and deliberately avoided. This grants a man a vast number of blessings, one of which is discernment. In order to discern whether or not a specific woman is good for him, a man must be willing to be without her. He must be satisfied, happy, joyful, calm, peaceful, and content, within himself. Only if a man is well and spiritually developing himself, will he be able to discern rightly with respect to a woman. Semen retention, practiced consciously and intentionally at length, promotes discernment.
The discerning man must ask, about a woman he is seriously considering, “how does this woman match with me spiritually, physically, and psychologically?” Only if he is willing to be single, if he is willing to walk away from her, can he choose wisely in the realm of women. Given the wisdom of detachment, here is what he ought to consider.
Nous
To discover whether there is noetic compatibility, only one question must be considered, to which, if there is spiritual compatibility present, both the man and the woman will give the same answer. This question is, “what is the purpose of life?” Only when both the man and his woman consciously and knowingly answer this question identically, can that couple be spiritually compatible.
Heart
Compatibility on the level of the soul is the largest, most voluminous area of compatibility. This has much to do with how pleasant it is to be with someone on a daily basis. Because it is a very great area to consider so briefly, a general question is appropriate, which takes much into account: “Do I get along with this woman easily and effortlessly, and do we enjoy life more simply by being together?” If a couple is fit for each other on the level of the soul, what they have in common and how they tend to approach life will blend together seamlessly, without much effort. This means that their temperaments, their likes and dislikes, their personal histories, their tastes and preferences, and the activities that they enjoy, will all combine well. This is the most obvious aspect of compatibility, exerting overwhelming influence on daily living.
Body
The wonderful simplicity of physical compatibility is a blessing. Generally speaking, this is either present or absent, in a mutual way. If it is mutually and strongly present, both the man and the woman will know it. If it is not sufficiently present for either or both parties, that will be equally obvious. The question here is “are we strongly sexually attracted to each other?” This magnetic, powerful aspect of conjugal love is sacred and important. It should not and cannot be forced, and if strong sexual attraction is present for a couple, this is a resource which should be cared for with wisdom and cultivated attentively. But if there is not strong, mutual sexual attraction, this too must be acknowledged. There is no point to endeavor to have a romantic relationship, absent this crucial ingredient. It is far better to be single and free, than to be in a romantic entanglement which lacks compelling, and mutual, sexual attraction.
These three areas, only when they present a harmonious, integral wholeness for a romantic relationship, comprise the foundational reality for a happy, healthy, joyous, and loving partnership. If any one of these areas is either lacking, or weak, there is no point in making a committed partnership a priority for such a case. The advantage of the man who retains his semen, is that he is able to wait for an appropriate partner, a woman who is truly compatible with him, to come along. If not, he is happily single.